Jolly Taxpayer Gifts

"I'm sorry, but you do not qualify for the home office credit."

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

"You were observed laughing on the way to the bank. Well, we'll take care of that."

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

'Some see the glass as half empty, some see it as half full -- I see it as taxable!'

tax

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

Tax relief

'Giving to the poor is deductible, Mr. Hood, but taking from the rich is still problematic.'

"Can you start the rain now? I just got hit with the luxury tax for this boat."

I.R.S. - A non-discriminatory federal agency. We Soak rich and poor alike.

"Your 'businessman's lunch' was $9.95, sir, but I had to add a 'fair share' surcharge."

'Sorry to interrupt - your monastery is on fire...the IRS wants to talk to you - and something about a missing case of wine.'

"I spent all last year totally paralyzed with indecision about a career - isn't that some kinda tax deduction?"

'I hereby leave all my debts and overdrafts to the IRS. . .'

'It's a tax refund. There's a note attached asking us not to cash it before next week.'

"I bought this net from the Inland Revenue. It allows big fish to swim through, yet catches the small ones."

'First the good news...since you earn under $400,000, you won't have to pay the millionaire's tax.'

IRS tax forms.

'Sorry, you can't claim depreciation on your wife.'

External Revenue Service

Zero interest CDs! Why pay taxes?