Humorous Tax Enthusiast Gifts

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

Yes, they are all dependants."

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

"And do you promise to love, honor, and cherish each other, and to pay the United States government more in taxes as a married couple than you would have paid if you had just continued living together?"

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

Tax relief

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

Ancient Greece. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Socrates clearly lived in a time before IRS audits.

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'