Tax Filing Jokester Gifts

'I keep all my receipts for tax purposes...'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

Yes, they are all dependants."

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

"And do you promise to love, honor, and cherish each other, and to pay the United States government more in taxes as a married couple than you would have paid if you had just continued living together?"

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

Tax relief

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'

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