Tax Evasion Humorist Gifts

'First the good news - we don't have to pay any corporate taxes this year.'

'I would donate to your charity, but it could draw the governments attention to me.'

'I don't mind being here. I was due at the Revenue's Enquiry Branch tomorrow.'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

Yes, they are all dependants."

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

Do you want this set of books, or the set you keep in the broom cupboard?

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

"And do you promise to love, honor, and cherish each other, and to pay the United States government more in taxes as a married couple than you would have paid if you had just continued living together?"

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

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