Tax Humorists Gifts

"Money from the Tooth Fairy, eh? Don't forget to declare capital gains!"

"Oh, we're not invading or anything, we're just looking for a tax shelter"

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

Yes, they are all dependants."

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

Ancient Greece. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Socrates clearly lived in a time before IRS audits.

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

Tax relief

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."