Taxation Humorist Gifts

"Are your taxes based on usable living space or actual square footage?"

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"I see the problem ... you used the short form."

In other news, a Kurdish group today announced plans to send humanitarian aid to British and American taxpayers...'

Tax consultant - "My advice is that you skip the country."

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

'Service is just a pastime, pal - my job is to collect taxes.'

'Some of them are smiling -- do you suppose they're undertaxed?'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

"Pay up with a smile please."

"Does it have a section of tax inspectors?"

EU fiscal harmonisation

'Your bill sir- I'm afraid there's een a slight tax hike on your businessman's lunch.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'The success goes to your head. The money goes to us.'

'Did he have to report it to the IRS every time he touched something?'

'He just walks that way to take advantage of the new tax breaks for Bipedals.'

Mitt Romney 1040 Form: Income - Lots, everybody knows that. Do we really need to go into the details?

IRS AUDIT DIVISION, 'This has got to be the lousiest location in town!'

'I'd love to stay and chat, people, but I have an enormous tax surplus to deal with.'

"If there are so many tax cuts, how come I only get tax increases?"

P.O. Boxes. It's from the IRS --- It seems they've declared my savings account to be in the public domain.

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

Actually, it's just two wishes after taxes.

Bill Collection.

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

Yes, they are all dependants."

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'