Taxation Satirist Gifts

Income tax is the entry fee to the rat race.

Yes, they are all dependants."

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'I'm dressed as a vat inspector.'

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

Tax relief

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'

tax

Ancient Greece. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Socrates clearly lived in a time before IRS audits.

'Funny you should mention that - I happen to be involved in a joint research project with the Department of Agriculture for the express purpose of getting blood from a turnip.'

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"