Taxpayer Satirist Gifts

Your tax $ at work...unless it's a weekend, one of 17 holidays or after 4 PM!

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

Yes, they are all dependants."

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'I'm dressed as a vat inspector.'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

Tax relief

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

Ancient Greece. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Socrates clearly lived in a time before IRS audits.