Tax Law Humorist Gifts

'I hear he's lobbying for tax laws that will let him declare us his dependents.'

'If my weasel of a husband files as head of household, it's tax fraud.'

'I'm afraid you can't list your unemployed husband as a dependent.'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

Yes, they are all dependants."

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

"And do you promise to love, honor, and cherish each other, and to pay the United States government more in taxes as a married couple than you would have paid if you had just continued living together?"

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"You were observed laughing on the way to the bank. Well, we'll take care of that."

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

Tax relief

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

tax

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"