Taxation Jokester Gifts

"I'm a working dog, and the IRS never lets me forget it."

Yes, they are all dependants."

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

Tax relief

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

tax

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

Ancient Greece. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Socrates clearly lived in a time before IRS audits.

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."