Tax Joke Enthusiast Gifts

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'You never knew your father -- they closed a tax loophole while he was in it.'

Arlo Jones: Born, Taxed to Death, Died.

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

Yes, they are all dependants."

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

Tax relief

"Can you start the rain now? I just got hit with the luxury tax for this boat."

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

Ancient Greece. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Socrates clearly lived in a time before IRS audits.

"You were observed laughing on the way to the bank. Well, we'll take care of that."

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