Tax Joke Lovers Gifts

Health Club Warning

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"You were observed laughing on the way to the bank. Well, we'll take care of that."

'Funny you should mention that - I happen to be involved in a joint research project with the Department of Agriculture for the express purpose of getting blood from a turnip.'

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

'The IRS is wondering when you might get around to filing your Federal Income Tax?'

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

tax

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

"Can you start the rain now? I just got hit with the luxury tax for this boat."

Tax relief

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

Luck of the IRS.

I.R.S. - A non-discriminatory federal agency. We Soak rich and poor alike.

American's Funniest Tax Decuctions

"Your 'businessman's lunch' was $9.95, sir, but I had to add a 'fair share' surcharge."

'You will make big bucks, then you'll give it all away to reduce your taxes.'

"They used the ultimate weapon to drive me away. Taxes."

"I spent all last year totally paralyzed with indecision about a career - isn't that some kinda tax deduction?"

'Sorry to interrupt - your monastery is on fire...the IRS wants to talk to you - and something about a missing case of wine.'

'It's a tax refund. There's a note attached asking us not to cash it before next week.'

IRS tax forms.

'First the good news...since you earn under $400,000, you won't have to pay the millionaire's tax.'

"I bought this net from the Inland Revenue. It allows big fish to swim through, yet catches the small ones."