Tax Joke Lovers Pillows

Health Club Warning

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"You were observed laughing on the way to the bank. Well, we'll take care of that."

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

'Funny you should mention that - I happen to be involved in a joint research project with the Department of Agriculture for the express purpose of getting blood from a turnip.'

'The IRS is wondering when you might get around to filing your Federal Income Tax?'

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

Tax relief

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

tax

I.R.S. - A non-discriminatory federal agency. We Soak rich and poor alike.

American's Funniest Tax Decuctions

'Sorry to interrupt - your monastery is on fire...the IRS wants to talk to you - and something about a missing case of wine.'

"I spent all last year totally paralyzed with indecision about a career - isn't that some kinda tax deduction?"

"Your 'businessman's lunch' was $9.95, sir, but I had to add a 'fair share' surcharge."

'You will make big bucks, then you'll give it all away to reduce your taxes.'

'It's a tax refund. There's a note attached asking us not to cash it before next week.'

IRS tax forms.

'First the good news...since you earn under $400,000, you won't have to pay the millionaire's tax.'

"I bought this net from the Inland Revenue. It allows big fish to swim through, yet catches the small ones."

'Sorry, you can't claim depreciation on your wife.'