Tax Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"As part of out customer care charter it's been decided that you don't need to give us your pants until tomorrow."

'I sympathize with your wife having multiple personality disorder, but you can't claim each one as a dependent."

"I bought this net from the Inland Revenue. It allows big fish to swim through, yet catches the small ones."

"There's no getting away from you guys."

'First the good news...since you earn under $400,000, you won't have to pay the millionaire's tax.'

'We'll make the cow tax deductable.'

'You owe income tax, social security tax, and of course, graduated tax.'

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

This is the one place the customer is never right!

'Okay, you can deduct your daughter, but you can't deduct your daughter's imaginary playmate.'

"Look on the bright side, you'll be able to borrow money to pay your taxes at a record-low interest rates!"

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

I.R.S. - A non-discriminatory federal agency. We Soak rich and poor alike.

'It's certainly been a long time since you filed a return, Mr. Van Winkel.'

'America's Funniest Tax Avoidance Schemes'

"But on the plus side, we're not in ANY tax bracket!"

How to tell when revenue Canada mistakenly thinks that you're dead.

I.R.S.: 'Notice: The rumor that we have merged with homeland security is untrue!'

"Holes in your shoes? -- Nice try, pal."

'We like to put the 'fun' in 'refund'!'

'Will it help if I turn in my accountant?'

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"The Internal Revenue Service will want to see a receipt for my soul."

'I can grant you 3 wishes, but I'm not responsible for the tax ramifications.'

'Unlike a baker's dozen, you can't earn thirteen dollars of income and report it as earning twelve'

"If you have paper, I'll give you a receipt for tax purposes."

"Here's a new bill to pay. . . intellectual property tax!"

'IRS' In trays 'Easy come' 'Easy go'

'Thank you for your check, sir -- We'll redistribute it right away!'

'That seems a little pricey -- What else have you got?'

'Relax. We're just interested in obtaining book and movie rights to your return.'

I dreamt I had loads of money but a robber tried to take it all off me...

'Sorry to interrupt - your monastery is on fire...the IRS wants to talk to you - and something about a missing case of wine.'

Someone here to see you about a merger.

"Your 'businessman's lunch' was $9.95, sir, but I had to add a 'fair share' surcharge."