Taxation Humor Enthusiast Pillows

Wouldn't it be easier if you just took my salary out of my taxes?

The auditor gets audited.

'Come now, sir. This can't be all the wages of sin.'

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

Yes, they are all dependants."

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

Tax relief

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

"You were observed laughing on the way to the bank. Well, we'll take care of that."

'The IRS is wondering when you might get around to filing your Federal Income Tax?'

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

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