Tax Jokes Gifts

"Nine lives is great, but the inheritance tax is what kills you."

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

Yes, they are all dependants."

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

tax

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'