Timeless Jokester Gifts

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Men dancing

Romulus and Remus ( and their brother Derek )

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

Time Travelers from the 21st Century.

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

'Tender and Juicy.'

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

'Someday, you'll be a big star!'

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

"And a parsley in a pear treeeee."

'Good morning, 'DICTIONARIES' department for, like, Similes.'

I laughed so hard that milk came out my nose.

"An olive or a twist?"

Summer Reading

"He can't be very good, look at his face."