Classical Jokester Gifts

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

'Classical music, huh?...You mean like Elvis?'

Romulus and Remus ( and their brother Derek )

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

"I'm very highly strung!"

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! Malaprop Man! I hear you told people in England you're royalty. Yeah, at first they didn't realize that I was only Joe King. I was an error to the throne who rained for forty days and forty knights. It's disappointing though that I never got to see a pig riding contest at Bucking Ham palace. And I never met Sherlock Holmes. He's the guy who followed the foot prince!

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

Athen's Theater. "Oedipus Rex" didn't test well as a title, Sophocles. How would you feel about calling it "My Big Fat Greek Tragedy"?

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

Gang of Musicians

'Tender and Juicy.'

It's a Four Seasons sleeping bag.

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

"I'm sorry, but the flight of the bumblebees has been cancelled."

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

Serpent Instrument player

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

Bass Camp