Nostalgic Jokester Gifts

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

'I must be in my second childhood -- my wife keeps sending me to bed without supper.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. X.

Romulus and Remus ( and their brother Derek )

The African Plains during the 70's.

Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasal spray instead of super glue!

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

"They don't make formula the way they used to."

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

'Tender and Juicy.'

"Sorry, kid, the nutrition nannies threatened to shut me down if I didn't change from chocolate to tofu Easter eggs."

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

"They don't play Mummies and Daddies these days-now its Wife Swappies!"

"Your room is exactly as you left it."

"Honey! Remember when we first met and you used to nibble my ear?"

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

'My 70th...hmmm.. that's shelter, food and sex out of the way. I guess it's time to move on to life's next challenge; mastery over my environment.'

'Dad, is it true that before we had hard drive crashes, the dog used to eat your homework?'

'Uncle Oog isn't very smart, but he's a lot of fun to play horsie with.'

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

Baby boomers anthem.

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'

Zzzzzzzzz...

'Someday, you'll be a big star!'

'Good morning, 'DICTIONARIES' department for, like, Similes.'

"An olive or a twist?"

Summer Reading