Nostalgic Humor Enthusiast Gifts

The revised 12 days of Christmas

The Evolution of Smoking.

"My phone can be unlocked by facial recognition."

"The HOA doesn't like our rock arrangement."

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. X.

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

"When I was a little girl...my mami had really good remedies for our aches and pains."

The African Plains during the 70's.

The Enemy

"I saw Mummy Kissing The Mil..."

A man selling a horse to an older lady

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasal spray instead of super glue!

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

Its a poor heart that never rejoices

Old Martin Chuzzlewit Suspects the Landlady without Reason

"They don't make formula the way they used to."

1874: Custer's Last Stand-Up

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'

"Ordered fifty-eight days ago and it's here already!"

"When I was young I had to walk 100 miles for a charge. . ."