Nostalgic Humor Gifts

"If I had a penny for every dollar I had, I'd have two cents."

"....And we had a supply teacher."

'C'mon, Billy, we need another quarter!'

'Wasn't that Superman?'

Old Lady

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

"I've learned from the past. Now can we move on?"

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

The other days of the year...

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. X.

The African Plains during the 70's.

"I saw Mummy Kissing The Mil..."

"When I was a little girl...my mami had really good remedies for our aches and pains."

Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasal spray instead of super glue!

"They don't make formula the way they used to."

"When I was young I had to walk 100 miles for a charge. . ."

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

'Of course you did better when you went to school. That was before the information age.'

'My 70th...hmmm.. that's shelter, food and sex out of the way. I guess it's time to move on to life's next challenge; mastery over my environment.'

"I'm old enough to remember when people thought retirement had something to do with not having a job. Don't laugh! We used to believe all sorts of ridiculous stuff!"

"Honey! Remember when we first met and you used to nibble my ear?"

"They don't play Mummies and Daddies these days-now its Wife Swappies!"

"Coot. How many times has he said that?"

"Your room is exactly as you left it."

'Once upon a time...'

'Dad, is it true that before we had hard drive crashes, the dog used to eat your homework?'

"You know you're old when you have to warm up just to take out the garbage."

"Yeah... it's me he's looking for. Listen Beth, there are few things you don't know about my past."

'I can remember when this was all pop concerts.'

Zzzzzzzzz...