Nostalgic Humor Enthusiast Pillows

The revised 12 days of Christmas

The Evolution of Smoking.

"My phone can be unlocked by facial recognition."

"The HOA doesn't like our rock arrangement."

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

Peter Cook

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. X.

"When I was a little girl...my mami had really good remedies for our aches and pains."

A man selling a horse to an older lady

"I saw Mummy Kissing The Mil..."

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

The Enemy

The African Plains during the 70's.

Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasal spray instead of super glue!

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."

Its a poor heart that never rejoices

Have you ever sued anyone for slander or libel, Randy? Indeed I have, little buddy. It was 1979. Francis Melba stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and accused me - in front of all the other kids - of being "nothing special." So I stood atop my table, ripped my shirt in two, slowly smoothed out my mustache, and then proceeded to flex my pecs, one at a time. HOJ. The sunlight streaming in through the windows scattered off my bouncing pecs like a disco ball. That's when Melba knew he was toast.

1874: Custer's Last Stand-Up

"They don't make formula the way they used to."

Old Martin Chuzzlewit Suspects the Landlady without Reason

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'