Tidying Comic Gifts

"One checker, two packs of cigarettes, two screws, one teapot bird, one piece of coal, three lighters, one Christmas light, one clove of garlic, four boxes of matches, two books, three pieces of broken dish, eggshells, one saltshaker peg, one pen, one cre

Let's get organized

Maybe clean out your wallet

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

Lord of the Rings: Two Towels

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

Casual skydiving.

The Movers - Decluttering

"You'll have to clean your room by yourself. Your plea for disaster aid has been turned down by the President."

Desert Island Raking

"Your sweaters go in the drawer, your shoes go on the shelf, and you go in this nifty cubby here."

'Excuse me - there's a fly in my soup!'

'Whose idea was it that every thanksgiving the women watch romantic comedies all day and we get stuck cleaning up?'

"Parting the clutter in your room isn't the same as cleaning it, Moses."

'I try to get this place smelling of cat and she wants it to pong of lemon.'

"I thought you were organizing my stuff."

Clearing Away Christmas

"Ok, here's another one about antibiotics. . ."

Mr. Clean Enough

'Never, Ever...open the glove compartment in your car.'

Grooming for beginners.

Carpet cleaning

'Particles, particles, particles.'

Man waiting for final leaf of autumn to fall.

'I thought you got the hot water system fixed - these are HAILSTONES!'

"You can tell he's not a stray. He picks up after himself."

Historic Medical Moments: The first time a body rejected a heart before it was transplanted.

In case of urge to tidy up, clean glass.

'I value order above all.'

'My mom doesn't really respect my privacy. She just can't stand to come in my room.'

I have a low flow toilet ... but not by design.

"There you are - you can put knives back in the right order if you try, without my condescending advice."