Scrubbed In Comic Gifts

Historic Medical Moments: The first time a body rejected a heart before it was transplanted.

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

Lord of the Rings: Two Towels

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

'Excuse me - there's a fly in my soup!'

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

'Whose idea was it that every thanksgiving the women watch romantic comedies all day and we get stuck cleaning up?'

'I've done the washing up - Do we have any glue?'

Grooming for beginners.

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"This cabernet sauvignon will have you feeling more like yourself in no time."

"One checker, two packs of cigarettes, two screws, one teapot bird, one piece of coal, three lighters, one Christmas light, one clove of garlic, four boxes of matches, two books, three pieces of broken dish, eggshells, one saltshaker peg, one pen, one cre

'I try to get this place smelling of cat and she wants it to pong of lemon.'

'When the aliens abducted and probed me, they said I was fine. But I'd like a second opinion.'

'Well, Mr. Swine, it looks like you pulled a hamstring.'

'...Then I swept down the staircase, into the ballroom.'

'I find it comforting to know that with steel shot at least their dental bills will be high.'

Witch on broom followed by witch on hangglider dustpan

I have a low flow toilet ... but not by design.

Mrs. Bortluber saves all the gunk she cleans from her computer.

'I'm afraid we have to turn the life-support machine off. I want to use the plug to recharge my iPad.'

European vaccine distribution

'Your heart's in the right place, Mrs Mopp.'

"I'm on a grape-juice cleanse."

Janitor on the Job Training.

Fishing Term: Terminal Tackle

"Next walk, we’re going to the park."

'Well, I got that nasty stain out of the carpet!'

An umpire vacuum's home plate.

'Will you be going by air, rail or handbasket.'

Woman sweeping dust under a man's hairpiece.