Cleanliness Comic Gifts

Grooming for beginners.

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

Lord of the Rings: Two Towels

Shepherds washed their socks by night.

'Yes, having a powerful sense of smell is good, but I do wish Master would change his socks more often...'

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

'Excuse me - there's a fly in my soup!'

'Whose idea was it that every thanksgiving the women watch romantic comedies all day and we get stuck cleaning up?'

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'

Mr. Clean Enough

'I try to get this place smelling of cat and she wants it to pong of lemon.'

"One checker, two packs of cigarettes, two screws, one teapot bird, one piece of coal, three lighters, one Christmas light, one clove of garlic, four boxes of matches, two books, three pieces of broken dish, eggshells, one saltshaker peg, one pen, one cre

Carpet cleaning

'Your halo didn't slip. You've got ring around the collar.'

'...Then I swept down the staircase, into the ballroom.'

Whale Pattern Balding,

'You talk about a clean dog!'

"You have no idea what I've been through."

Mrs. Bortluber saves all the gunk she cleans from her computer.

"So what? Germs are also invisible!"

I have a low flow toilet ... but not by design.

"Stop using math to make me look bad."

"I can skip my bath tonight. I put the windows down when Dad drove through the carwash."

"Your shirt's on inside out."

"When I told you to change your socks... I didn't mean from one foot to another!"

"I'm on a grape-juice cleanse."

"During the operation I had a true out-of-body experience and I have to tell you, there is a lot of dust on top of those lights."

'Your heart's in the right place, Mrs Mopp.'

Hand Drier - With Added Face Wash Feature

Janitor on the Job Training.

'Well, I got that nasty stain out of the carpet!'