Cleanliness Humorist Gifts

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'

"So what? Germs are also invisible!"

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

Chef copy robot

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

Team medic spraying deodorant

"Ooh, you’ve got a little piece of retiree caught in your teeth."

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

Customers must wash hands after using their laptops.

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

Ward Cleaning.

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

'What did you find in your soup?'

"I like making pastry... It gets your hands clean."

A vampire lays in his coffin and he has put his vampire dentures in a glass beside the coffin.

Bath tube with human feet.

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

Remember to wash your hands: "...but not compulsively."

'There's an inspector here from the Board of Health who would like to see the chicken soup.'

"I'm sorry Bob. After you disappeared, I made a new life with Fred."

Jeff woke up with a disgusting film on his teeth.

'This is one thing you can't blame on me.'

"Hello Bob, I haven't seen you since you had a water meter fitted!"

Outside, my mom makes we wear all this if there's a drop of rain. Inside, she's always bugging me to take a bath!