Cleanliness Comedian Gifts

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

"I can skip my bath tonight. I put the windows down when Dad drove through the carwash."

'Did you clean out the bath tub after your bath?'

"When I told you to change your socks... I didn't mean from one foot to another!"

"Your shirt's on inside out."

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"You have no idea what I've been through."

'Your jumper's on inside out. I know, I'm trying to keep it clean.'

'You talk about a clean dog!'

'Uh, Uh, Uh! Wipe your feet first.'

"I guess they're short-staffed."

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

Team medic spraying deodorant

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

'If they don't want me drinking out of the toilet, what's this roll of napkins for?'

Paper Bath Towels.

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'

'What did you find in your soup?'