Clean Competition Comedian Gifts

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

"I miss the Augean stables."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

'I'd like to come over, but Mom cleaned my room and it's going to take me all day to put it right again.'

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'

A woman's work is never done.

Carpet cleaning

'Your halo didn't slip. You've got ring around the collar.'

Javelin

'You knew I was an amphibian when you married me!'

'Didn't you remove the bird before washing the cage?'

'...Then I swept down the staircase, into the ballroom.'

"We think he picked it up at the kennel."

"So what? Germs are also invisible!"

"Stop using math to make me look bad."

Hell - "You can say what you like about this place.. At least they keep it clean."

Mrs. Bortluber saves all the gunk she cleans from her computer.

Witch on broom followed by witch on hangglider dustpan

Priest reading 'Confessions of a Window Cleaner'.

"You have no idea what I've been through."

"He wants to be beach buggy ready."

'You talk about a clean dog!'

"Oh, yeah, tough guy? Well, maybe this is the night I mop up the floor with you."

'But I can't take my muddy boots off - I'm not wearing any!'

'What'd I miss?'

"I can skip my bath tonight. I put the windows down when Dad drove through the carwash."

"Your shirt's on inside out."

"I'm not going to shovel the walk. I'm cleaning my room."