Clean Competition Comedian Gifts

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

"I miss the Augean stables."

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

'I'd like to come over, but Mom cleaned my room and it's going to take me all day to put it right again.'

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'

A woman's work is never done.

Carpet cleaning

"We think he picked it up at the kennel."

Javelin

'You knew I was an amphibian when you married me!'

'Didn't you remove the bird before washing the cage?'

'...Then I swept down the staircase, into the ballroom.'

"Stop using math to make me look bad."

Priest reading 'Confessions of a Window Cleaner'.

Mrs. Bortluber saves all the gunk she cleans from her computer.

"He wants to be beach buggy ready."

Hell - "You can say what you like about this place.. At least they keep it clean."

Witch on broom followed by witch on hangglider dustpan

"So what? Germs are also invisible!"

"Oh, yeah, tough guy? Well, maybe this is the night I mop up the floor with you."

'You talk about a clean dog!'

"You have no idea what I've been through."

'But I can't take my muddy boots off - I'm not wearing any!'

'What'd I miss?'

"I can skip my bath tonight. I put the windows down when Dad drove through the carwash."

"When I told you to change your socks... I didn't mean from one foot to another!"

"I'm not going to shovel the walk. I'm cleaning my room."

"Your shirt's on inside out."