Competition Comedian Gifts

'You've hit the bull.'

Javelin

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Extreme miming"

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

"How should we divide the teams?"

Gary turns 40.

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"If I had known this was such a great place to work I would have lied more on my resume."

Runner going through hurdles.

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

Pelobong

"I didn't bring a resume. I brought coffee and donuts."

"Three more classes and I get my belt."

"Your resume looks good, but I'm not seeing any DNA data."

Loser's Podium.

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

'I went into hunting and gathering. And you?'

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

"You're not giving me the job because I'm 'over qualified'? Oh, don't worry, most of those qualifications have been falsified."

Open entrance door to find exit door directly behind it.

'You daft cow...I said I needed some company and was out for a duck!'

Ferguson, Bramley, Osgood & Holt - Big Frogs in a Small Pond.

"Where do you see yourself after 5 beers?"

'Those two alone should ensure I become a wealthy lawyer.'