Competition Humorist Gifts

"We've really come up with something, but nine other labs also came up with it this week."

'I think it's for you.'

Football Chameleon

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.

'If asked, we should all agree that this seminar never happened.'

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'

Football Violence

Murphy bed...Murphy.

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also beating the spread."

10 reasons why cricket is not a real sport.

'Oh, and if a Farmer John calls, I'm not here.'

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

'My 434 novels are very similar to Terry Pratchetts apart from the fact that they've never been published.'

'It's internal. Probably one of his stomachs...'

'Eton Football (By Dumb-Crambo Junior.)'

Giraffe painter.

"Operation Warp Speed complete!"

Sheepdog

The Pole Vault Washing Line

"I see from your resume you have a black belt in accountancy."

"Baxter, I'm doing an online course in delegating and I want you to sit the exam for me."

'Wow, that's the worst case of tennis elbow I've seen this year!'

Javelin

Annual 10K Fun Run

The cartoonists with a giant Pencil

'I'm always on the edge of my Twickenham seat...I can't afford the full business debenture rate.'

Cinderfelon

'Apparently he does 20 yards to the pint.'

"And that's why I avoid moisture-wicking sportswear."