Competition Humorist Pillows

"We've really come up with something, but nine other labs also came up with it this week."

'I think it's for you.'

Football Chameleon

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Pete Sampras

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.

'If asked, we should all agree that this seminar never happened.'

Football Violence

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also beating the spread."

Murphy bed...Murphy.

10 reasons why cricket is not a real sport.

'My 434 novels are very similar to Terry Pratchetts apart from the fact that they've never been published.'

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

'Oh, and if a Farmer John calls, I'm not here.'

The Pole Vault Washing Line

'It's internal. Probably one of his stomachs...'

'Eton Football (By Dumb-Crambo Junior.)'

"Operation Warp Speed complete!"

Sheepdog

Giraffe painter.

"I see from your resume you have a black belt in accountancy."

"Baxter, I'm doing an online course in delegating and I want you to sit the exam for me."

'Wow, that's the worst case of tennis elbow I've seen this year!'

Javelin

Annual 10K Fun Run

'I'm always on the edge of my Twickenham seat...I can't afford the full business debenture rate.'

The cartoonists with a giant Pencil

Cinderfelon