Humorous Competition Lover Pillows

Golden Village: Lawn Mowing Races

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Tension filled the tent.

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

The Unsportables: Relay

Danth battle?

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

Workplace Shinanigans

The Cricketer and the Golfer

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

Office Competitions

'What a control freak!'

"I quit."

A report on one-upmanship in TV newscasts.

Hat Wars.

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

'There goes Finley...turning pro.'

Rugby Mad.

'It's just possible that the best candidate is the one who wins the Spoon Race.'

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

'I won a prize for being the school swot. I killed more flies than anyone else.'

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

'This is doing your chances of winning the 'Golden Paper Clip' award no harm at all!'

"I don't get it. If he's no faster than me, how come he always beats me?"

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

Basketball Players Working Together

'My competitor down the street sasses his parents.'

A Man mixing up his sports.

Later accounts would call it the Greatest Water Battle of All Time,