Lover Of Competitions Pillows

So You Think You're A Cat

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Can our software do that?'

Putin and Zelensky

Tension filled the tent.

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

"It's a jungle out there... and I hear you're an expert."

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

Fishing Boat Derby

Cheerleaders

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'You bought an F-14 equipped with an internal 20 mm vulcan gatling-type paintball gun? I think you might be taking this paintball thing a little too seriously!'

Workplace Shinanigans

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

No Time-Outs Left. Please Help.

Office Competitions

'What a control freak!'

"Yeah, I won the Finest Quality Wool award, but it was a tough competition: There were contestants from all over Australia and New Zealand..."

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

Hat Wars.

Angels crying because they lost first place to a big butch man

Big Guys vs Little Guys

"I quit."

A report on one-upmanship in TV newscasts.

'There goes Finley...turning pro.'

Rugby Mad.

Eight puns

I don't know … some days it all feels like a big game.

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

'I won a prize for being the school swot. I killed more flies than anyone else.'

'This is doing your chances of winning the 'Golden Paper Clip' award no harm at all!'

Chef Contest. Ernie, it's not sporting to chant "batter, batter, batter" during a pancake cook-off.