Lighthearted Competition Fan Pillows

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

The Unsportables: Relay

'I win!'

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

'Rhea of the Year.'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'This is our top negotiator's office.'

It had taken a team of engineers at IBM over a decade and had cost more than 50 million dollars, but that nigh, when Eat-Bot 4000 finally broke the record for hot dogs in an hour, it was all worth it.

Rugby Mad.

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

"Wow, fishing sure is fun. I can't believe I caught such a big fish my first time out."

"Your team should sign that bluebottle, it has chased the ball all over the pitch."

What's this for? Screwing up my Lacrosse career. Slam! Are you ok, honey? Tough tryout. I thought they had already chosen the team. They have. Now they're determining the pecking order. Is Teddy's health care paid up?

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

'The Ugoola's wheel is bigger than ours!'

Basketball Players Working Together

'My competitor down the street sasses his parents.'

"See. I told you they have Roomba Rodeos when we're gone."

"Wow, 27, not bad! Me, I've ruined 53 surfing competitions..."

One-upmanship.

"Foul!"

'Jack's foursome gives out trophies at the end of the year...he came in fourth!'

You are no longer in jeopardy.

"Ha!...I'd like to see the Jones' trying to beat our display this year!"

Scott finds Amundsen got to Pole first and cries

'Which club do I use for a hole in one?'

Too late they realized they'd awarded 1st place to a mop.

"Tag, you're it!"

'This is my trophy wife...I won her in a bowling tournament.'

Football Drinks