Competitive Humor Pillows

Marital Tally: Arguments Won

"If they want a snowball fight, then I'll give them one."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Danth battle?

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

The Cricketer and the Golfer

"She's about to get him on the rebound."

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

Loser's Podium.

Corporate Lawyers

Ref shows footballer green card.

'And it looks like the refs are going to call a hard fowl.'

Skateboard Olympics.

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

A Man mixing up his sports.

Later accounts would call it the Greatest Water Battle of All Time,

Shows Bundt

"Wow, 27, not bad! Me, I've ruined 53 surfing competitions..."

'Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can pretend to beat up your dad!'

'I've got a good idea to improve the team.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."

'I like that guy. He gets a splitting headache, but instead of quitting, he calls time out, the athletic trainer tapes him up, and he gets right back in the game.'

'But I digress.'

'When I'm in the saddle I'm part of the horse.' - 'Yes, but which part?'

Space Hopper Rodeo

'So then the linebacker yells back at this guy: 'Oh yeah? Well, next play, I'm gonna cram the ball...' Wait! I got it.'

'Tough luck Warren, but it was always going to be hard to get a strike.'

Dragon brought on as substitute

"I don't know. I just don't think this 'bowling' thing will work."