Comedy Competitor Pillows

'After this event, I want him tested. Blood, urine, DNA - the works. Look for anything unusual.'

'Play it again, Sam.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

Loser's Podium.

'Make no mistake Wetherall, it's a jungle out there.'

Marmalade the Cheetah on stilts.

Skateboard Olympics.

"Calm down, I'm just using the rules of modern competition."

'You daft cow...I said I needed some company and was out for a duck!'

'It's OK, being completely egocentric is perfectly normal for someone your age.'

Tug the Toggle

'And the gold medal goes to...'

'This information is on a need-to-screw-others basis.'

'Listen, I know that nose was what made me famous, but it also led to me being typecast. I'm hoping this change helps me get more diverse roles.'

Javelin

On the start position

"I didn't want to tell you like this, but I'm going solo..."

The Pole Jumper.

Golden Village: Lawn Mowing Races

'It's worse than Jehovah's Witnesses - it's your mother and your mother's mother !!'

'I'm taking you off the javelin - you throw it way too high!'

Apples and Oranges Shoot-Out

"What? You got something funny to say?"

'You've hit the bull.'

"We've really come up with something, but nine other labs also came up with it this week."

'Oh yeah? Well my dad bailed out your dad.'

'Someday I will beat you in a staring contest.'