Comedic Competitor Pillows

'I'm looking for the game with the fewest pieces, so that when I lose you'll have less to pick up after I throw the board.'

'If I was a golf ball, I wouldn't do what you wanted me to do if you called me that either.'

Men playing water football in barrels on a lake

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

Loser's Podium.

Using the skill of pottery to make athletics trophy.

Skateboard Olympics.

Man fights with his shadow.

On the start position

"Can I borrow this or are you going somewhere?"

Searching for condom.

Javelin

'How can I miss you if you won't go away!'

Interpretive marathon

'You didn't train for this marathon, did you?'

'How about some marital counselling, hon? Should we grab some while we're in this aisle?' 'No, we're fine on that.'

Chess bowling.

'Why don't you put your money in the Bank, instead of stuffing it under the mattress?'

'How obvious can you get?'

"You don't need tech support. You have those on backwards."

War artists.

'Hello, George? Yes, have you seen my husband? I'm guessing he's in-between the couch cushions again.'

The Club Singles Duel.

Deep Fat Fryer: 'Did you find the foot-spa, dear?'

'Okay guys, paper already beat these guys, and we beat paper last week. . .'

'You've hit the bull.'

World Ping-Pong Federation.

"My doctor gave me the O.K. to go ahead and die during sex."