Comedic Competitor Gifts

'I'm looking for the game with the fewest pieces, so that when I lose you'll have less to pick up after I throw the board.'

'If I was a golf ball, I wouldn't do what you wanted me to do if you called me that either.'

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

Men playing water football in barrels on a lake

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

Loser's Podium.

Using the skill of pottery to make athletics trophy.

Skateboard Olympics.

"I'm looking for a GPS with Morgan Freeman's voice. Maybe my husband will listen to it."

Man fights with his shadow.

Javelin

Searching for condom.

On the start position

"Can I borrow this or are you going somewhere?"

Interpretive marathon

'How can I miss you if you won't go away!'

'How about some marital counselling, hon? Should we grab some while we're in this aisle?' 'No, we're fine on that.'

'You didn't train for this marathon, did you?'

Dodge Ball City.

Chess bowling.

'Why don't you put your money in the Bank, instead of stuffing it under the mattress?'

War artists.

Sorry, Bob, but the hive voted to go with Barb's blueprint again this year.

"You don't need tech support. You have those on backwards."

'Hello, George? Yes, have you seen my husband? I'm guessing he's in-between the couch cushions again.'

The Club Singles Duel.

"I forget now, but one of these buttons opens the chair back to full recline."

'How obvious can you get?'

Figure Skating: Dee Thumble,

Deep Fat Fryer: 'Did you find the foot-spa, dear?'

'Okay guys, paper already beat these guys, and we beat paper last week. . .'

"My doctor gave me the O.K. to go ahead and die during sex."