Cleanliness Comedians Gifts

"Stop using math to make me look bad."

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

'OK, here are the rules: We can't be seen by humans and can't leave droppings around, otherwise, they'll close the restaurant...'

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

Paper Bath Towels.

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'

"Hide? What do you mean hide? We are literally camouflage and they still eat us!"

igloo smoking zone...

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

Laundry baskets labelled 'pajamas' and 'not pajamas'.

Carpet cleaning

"We think he picked it up at the kennel."

"But I can't help it if I smell 'Fishy'!"

Recycle your problems. Many of our neuroses, hang-ups and character defects can be re-used by others.

'...Then I swept down the staircase, into the ballroom.'

'How can anyone say our factory isn't green? Most of our waste is that colour!'

"You have no idea what I've been through."

'Dinner's almost ready — go wash your knuckles.'

Mrs. Bortluber saves all the gunk she cleans from her computer.

'You talk about a clean dog!'

Adventures in Flossing

Hell - "You can say what you like about this place.. At least they keep it clean."

"So what? Germs are also invisible!"