Cleaning Comedy Gifts

Janitor on the Job Training.

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

'Hello, is that the employment agency? It's about the domestic you sent me.'

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'

Mr. Clean Enough

Grooming for beginners.

Laundry baskets labelled 'pajamas' and 'not pajamas'.

'I try to get this place smelling of cat and she wants it to pong of lemon.'

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

Carpet cleaning

"We think he picked it up at the kennel."

'...Then I swept down the staircase, into the ballroom.'

'Your halo didn't slip. You've got ring around the collar.'

"No, no, you go on - I'm gonna spend some time on the bleach!"

Mrs. Bortluber saves all the gunk she cleans from her computer.

Hell - "You can say what you like about this place.. At least they keep it clean."

"You have no idea what I've been through."

Witch on broom followed by witch on hangglider dustpan

"Stop using math to make me look bad."

'You talk about a clean dog!'

"So what? Germs are also invisible!"

'What'd I miss?'

"I can skip my bath tonight. I put the windows down when Dad drove through the carwash."

"Your shirt's on inside out."

"When I told you to change your socks... I didn't mean from one foot to another!"

"During the operation I had a true out-of-body experience and I have to tell you, there is a lot of dust on top of those lights."