Cleaning Comedy Gifts

Janitor on the Job Training.

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

'Hello, is that the employment agency? It's about the domestic you sent me.'

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'

'I try to get this place smelling of cat and she wants it to pong of lemon.'

Mr. Clean Enough

Grooming for beginners.

Laundry baskets labelled 'pajamas' and 'not pajamas'.

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

Carpet cleaning

"No, no, you go on - I'm gonna spend some time on the bleach!"

'...Then I swept down the staircase, into the ballroom.'

"We think he picked it up at the kennel."

Hell - "You can say what you like about this place.. At least they keep it clean."

"Stop using math to make me look bad."

"So what? Germs are also invisible!"

'You talk about a clean dog!'

Witch on broom followed by witch on hangglider dustpan

Mrs. Bortluber saves all the gunk she cleans from her computer.

"You have no idea what I've been through."

'What'd I miss?'

"I can skip my bath tonight. I put the windows down when Dad drove through the carwash."

"Your shirt's on inside out."

"When I told you to change your socks... I didn't mean from one foot to another!"

Cotton Buds.

"During the operation I had a true out-of-body experience and I have to tell you, there is a lot of dust on top of those lights."