Comical Cleaner Gifts

"Time to clean out my locker!"

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

'Hello, is that the employment agency? It's about the domestic you sent me.'

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

'Whose idea was it that every thanksgiving the women watch romantic comedies all day and we get stuck cleaning up?'

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

'After this my bath water will never seem the same!'

Mr. Clean Enough

Grooming for beginners.

"One checker, two packs of cigarettes, two screws, one teapot bird, one piece of coal, three lighters, one Christmas light, one clove of garlic, four boxes of matches, two books, three pieces of broken dish, eggshells, one saltshaker peg, one pen, one cre

'I try to get this place smelling of cat and she wants it to pong of lemon.'

Carpet cleaning

'...Then I swept down the staircase, into the ballroom.'

'You talk about a clean dog!'

Witch on broom followed by witch on hangglider dustpan

"So what? Germs are also invisible!"

"You have no idea what I've been through."

Mrs. Bortluber saves all the gunk she cleans from her computer.

"I can skip my bath tonight. I put the windows down when Dad drove through the carwash."

"Your shirt's on inside out."

"When I told you to change your socks... I didn't mean from one foot to another!"

"During the operation I had a true out-of-body experience and I have to tell you, there is a lot of dust on top of those lights."

Janitor on the Job Training.

"I'm on a grape-juice cleanse."

'Well, I got that nasty stain out of the carpet!'

The perfect way to remove red wine stains.

'One thing...I don't do windows.'