Cleanse Comic Gifts

"I'm on a grape-juice cleanse."

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

Casual skydiving.

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.

'Yes, having a powerful sense of smell is good, but I do wish Master would change his socks more often...'

'Excuse me - there's a fly in my soup!'

"No thanks, I'm on a juicebook cleanse this week."

'Whose idea was it that every thanksgiving the women watch romantic comedies all day and we get stuck cleaning up?'

Mr. Clean Enough

'I try to get this place smelling of cat and she wants it to pong of lemon.'

Grooming for beginners.

Maude's yoga classes were beginning to pay off.

"One checker, two packs of cigarettes, two screws, one teapot bird, one piece of coal, three lighters, one Christmas light, one clove of garlic, four boxes of matches, two books, three pieces of broken dish, eggshells, one saltshaker peg, one pen, one cre

Carpet cleaning

Historic Medical Moments: The first time a body rejected a heart before it was transplanted.

'...Then I swept down the staircase, into the ballroom.'

"We think he picked it up at the kennel."

"You have no idea what I've been through."

Mrs. Bortluber saves all the gunk she cleans from her computer.

'You talk about a clean dog!'

"I can skip my bath tonight. I put the windows down when Dad drove through the carwash."

"Your shirt's on inside out."

"When I told you to change your socks... I didn't mean from one foot to another!"

'Your heart's in the right place, Mrs Mopp.'

"I guess that thirty days of clean eating thing you're doing really flushes out your ability to talk about anything else."

"Don't forget your five a day."

Janitor on the Job Training.

"Just because that last guy you ate was a vegan, you can't say you're on a vegan diet!"