Clean Eating Comic Gifts

"I guess that thirty days of clean eating thing you're doing really flushes out your ability to talk about anything else."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Night of the Latkes

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

All Natural Nothing

Thou Shalt Not!

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

F&E Diner. Beer. Wine. This wine paralyzes the taste buds --- It goes with anything!

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

Onion operation.

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

Amy Sedaris

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

Bottomless bowl of soup

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

"A votre sante!"

'We've run out of Parmesan cheese.' Food in pasta.

"I've had enough sweets for one day."

"Let's take this one step at a time. First, somebody is going to have to catch the fish."

"Your fish ... I'm sorry, but there will be a slight delay."

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

"Is the slop fresh?"