Theater Technician Gifts

"The opening night is always a bit special!"

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

Stage Hand

Puppetry of the Penis

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

Thespian Energy Powder (Fast Acting)

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

Working in the Hazard Zone!

The Witches Discover The Wok

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

'It was great. I hated it.'

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

"Because of illness, the role of Mimi in tonight's performance will be sung by a temp."

TV stage door

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

Casting Director

Best Special Effects Award

Henrik Ibsen

Romy Schneider

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

Fire starts at magic show while audience participant is left behind.

Mulvaney's Soliloquy

Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! She was great! I hear she's so sought-after by musical theater productions that she can make them work around her schedule! So in other words, "Operettas are standing by!"

'I'm here in case one of the actors actually does break a leg.'

"The management asks that you not throw genetically engineered tomatoes. Use the ordinary ones if you must."

Nice speech, but you don't have that many friends. You better add "Romans and countrymen."

Classic Film Festival. The Wizard of Oz. In "The Wizard of Oz," Dorothy's house is blown far away. She must have lived in a lighthouse!

Theater Owner Who Refused To Convert To Digital Projection.

'To tweet or not to tweet...'

Too Much?