Theater Employee Gifts

"Enjoy the movie, and try not to cry too loud at the end when the dog comes home."

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

The Witches Discover The Wok

'It was great. I hated it.'

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

Moulin Rouge Security

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

Snail Man

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

"Because of illness, the role of Mimi in tonight's performance will be sung by a temp."

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

There were a million things Alexander Hamilton hadn't done

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

Grandfather Clock

TV stage door

'I hear McKellen takes scarf wearing to new levels of flamboyance at the Old Vic...'

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

Henrik Ibsen

Casting Director

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.

Memorials of The Great Exhibition - 1851. No. V. - Theatrical depression.

Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! She was great! I hear she's so sought-after by musical theater productions that she can make them work around her schedule! So in other words, "Operettas are standing by!"

Mulvaney's Soliloquy

Actor talking to unimpressed child

Fire starts at magic show while audience participant is left behind.

"The management asks that you not throw genetically engineered tomatoes. Use the ordinary ones if you must."

'I'm here in case one of the actors actually does break a leg.'

Romy Schneider

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

"Please do not panic. You're only required to turn off your mobile device during the movie."