Movie Theater Staff Gifts

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

'It was great. I hated it.'

'What an old film.'

'Sure we're concerned about terrorism, but the only bombs we've seen around here are some of the movies we've booked.'

Ice cream salesperson in cinema with sign - 'The end is nigh'.

'He didn't buy a ticket, but I'm not about to try to kick him out.'

'For the last time, Kevin - I'm not carrying a torch for you. I'm a cinema usherette.'

Theater Owner Who Refused To Convert To Digital Projection.

"I thought it was a little campy."

Now Showing - Titanic: Queue Here: Women + Children First.

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Multi-tasking.

'These are job perks.'

Working in the Hazard Zone!

Cut!

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

Busy office.

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

Brainstorm in progress.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

The role of administration.

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."