Movie Theater Staff Gifts

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

'It was great. I hated it.'

'What an old film.'

'Sure we're concerned about terrorism, but the only bombs we've seen around here are some of the movies we've booked.'

Ice cream salesperson in cinema with sign - 'The end is nigh'.

'He didn't buy a ticket, but I'm not about to try to kick him out.'

'For the last time, Kevin - I'm not carrying a torch for you. I'm a cinema usherette.'

Theater Owner Who Refused To Convert To Digital Projection.

"I thought it was a little campy."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Multi-tasking.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Working in the Hazard Zone!

'These are job perks.'

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Busy office.

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

Brainstorm in progress.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

Rodin's Cloakroom Thief

'Brains...brains...brains...'

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

Sales.