Theatre Staff Gifts

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

Keep your feet on the floor or on the other patrons, but not on the seats,please.

returns queue...

Usher

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Face painting.

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

Multi-tasking.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'These are job perks.'

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

The Witches Discover The Wok

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'It was great. I hated it.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Busy office.

Dr. Frankenstein creates his newest monster, Frankenmime.

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

Brainstorm in progress.

The role of administration.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Sales.

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

'Brains...brains...brains...'

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."