The Bible Gifts

'Oh, ick! -- I just stepped on a fish!'

Road rage in olden days

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Yes, all at once!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

"I've told you before one at each end!"

TSA Noah

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

Ice skater

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

Little Known Moments In History

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'