Biblical Teachings Gifts

"I tried the old, if you're without sin throw the first stone. Well, figures Jesus was in the crowd."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Moses on the web

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Yes, all at once!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

Little Known Moments In History

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.