Biblical Teachings Gifts

"I tried the old, if you're without sin throw the first stone. Well, figures Jesus was in the crowd."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Moses separating his Laundry.

Moses on the web

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Yes, all at once!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

Little Known Moments In History

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

Noah's life jacket demonstration