Termite Warrior Gifts

'Remember the Battle of Jericho, sir...where the walls came tumbling down?'

'Check you house for termites, Lady?'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

"Susan! The Johnson's dog is chasing me while I'm jogging again!"

"It's not a big deal! Everyone gets bitten by insects on holiday occasionally."

"Let it go. You have to learn to pick your battles."

"Still on your left."

"You have sewage between your teeth."

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

"Damn speed hump!"

Yeah, ok. I'll hold onto the two termites until this is over.

Academy.

-You need a permit to fish here. -I'm doing okay with a worm, thank you

"Why have you brought me here?"

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

'That must be the termite inspector.'

Less than Ultimate Fighting.

Wind turbines seen as a blot on the landscape by motorists who don't notice the impact of the motorway.

'I have decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of the bedroom.'

"This is my life lately. . . always running and getting nowhere!"

After comments from fans that they are overweight, Close to Home characters begin a fitness program.

'Type the following as fast as you can!'

'And just FYI, I was a caterpillar when you first put me on hold!'

"Looks like the termite man's here."

Posh Gym - Run out of money machine.

'Go ahead, make my day.'

"Don't text so fast! At this rate, you'll need your thumbs retread."

'I hope you don't mind me breaking up with you via text message.'

One day Mike and a handful of other termites happened upon a turkey sandwich,,, after that it was pretty hard to go back to wood,

When Worlds Collide